My Fob Boyfriend [FBF]

Today’s entry is dedicated to the FBF (Fob Boyfriend) because this week marks a new milestone for us – our 6 months. Which is not really a dedicated milestone, but I think it’s worth some recognition.

I told a coworker that I was going out for dinner with fbf for our 6 months and he said “Why is 6 months worth a celebration? Because it’s been half a year? HAH!" … well, YEAH! Gosh, don’t burst my bubble. 6 months seems more exciting than our 200 days, which is just around the corner.

So since I’ve been back the fbf has been extra nice to me. Perhaps being gone for a month gave him a lot of time to prepare surprises for me. First he decorated my apartment with balloons and we were so happy to see each other and then I fell asleep 30 minutes later [at 9 pm]. The next day we went to the doosan vs. nexen (?) game, and then on Saturday we spent the day in Seoul Land, which btw was a lot nicer then expected and it is very close to my home.  On Tuesday, our 6 monthiversary, we went to Yongsusan and ate a really delicious 15 course meal.

FBF apologized for not having a gift for me because he thinks that I am hard to shop for. The thought counts, at least he was trying to buy me a gift.

Why he thinks I am hard to shop for:

1.     While at a department store

Him: “Do you need a new wallet?... you know, since you don’t use one…”

Me: Nah, I’m not really into using a wallet these days.

Him: Come on, let’s look at wallets, I’ll buy you one!

Me: no its okay.. [I really don’t want a wallet!]

2.     After telling him that my sister just got a Swarovski necklace as a gift

Him: Do you like Swarovski crystals?

Me: It’s okay but I’d rather buy diamonds. [I was oblivious to his hint]

Him: Not even cubic zirconium?

Me: Oh, god no.

Him: …

3.     A few months ago:

Him: So is there anything you need?

Me: hrmm… no.

Him: nothing?

Me: well, an iPhone 4 and a laptop.

Him: ….

4.     I’m too impulsive.

Him: [thinking in his head: maybe I’ll buy her some clothes.. maybe some shoes]

Me: HEY FBF! Look! I just bought all of this clothes and shoes. I’m so happy

Him: ….

. 

Basically he’s dating a brat but I had given up on expecting a gift from him so didn't realize he had been hinting at things for a while. Maybe the only thing I need is a fbf that doesn’t buy me any physical gifts. 6 months strong and still zero physical gifts!

Pictures after the jump!

Original Gangstaz

I have a confession. I am a gang lord. Are you a crip or a blood? if youre a crip, then we can talk. They know me as Bobiyoung. I ran a gang and we weren't messing around. I used to make 10g's per hour by owning a street corner and I alone had enough guns, other weapons and gear for an army of 70. I beat people up, sent a bunch to the hospital and don't tell the cops but I've killed a good share. I have blood on my hands. My soul burns.

I spent too many nights staying up past 3am taking care of my gang. It was ruining my life. When I left the states, I had to leave my gang life behind. So long hombres... I miss you dearly and constantly wonder if my sister is checking up on you.

This game is addictive. At one point I seriously considered spending real money to buy more points for street cred and attacks. That's dedication. 

I think getting an iPhone will completely mess up my sleep schedule... maybe i should reconsider. 

My month away

A month ago I left Korea thinking that I was going to be gone for only one week. The plan was: cousin's wedding, meetings, wine and dine, fly back to Korea. 

What actually happened was – Finish meetings - report to boss - immediately cancel my return ticket [without consent] - open ended return date - future meetings planned sometime in the near future. 


It was probably viewed as a gracious gift from his point of view but I was ill-prepared to stay for such a long time. With no car, no US money and no clothes I was pretty much stranded. Luckily I had many nice friends who came out of their way to see me, house me and intoxicate me.

In LA there were times when I suffered from major cabin fever because I would be stranded inside of my friend’s apartment complex. Without a car and without a way to get back into the building, I spent some days cooped up and releasing my frustration through cleaning the entire apartment. Some of the cleaning included hand sweeping and transforming the black-dusted balcony into a pearly white cement, clearing out all expired contents of the refrigerator only to find out that it would end up empty and cleaning dog pee stains that had been there for over a year. Cleaning would end up being the highlight of the day.

Thanks Tom for the picture

For those who know me, I like to wear the same thing over and over again, but a month of doing so was overkill. I was seriously a cartoon character stuck in the same outfit. Yeah, I could have bought more clothes but because I was dependent on my Korean credit card, I didn’t want to spend too much money on shitty exchange rates on clothes that I wouldn’t be able to wear back in Korea. [I still need to get the hang of being season conscious. It’s a trait that Californians lack.]

Thats the outfit I wore pretty much everyday. 

So that concludes why I was in the states for an extended period of time. It was fun... 

More pics after the jump!

Back to the Grind

This feels like the ultimate Monday morning and today I’m howlin’ the blues. The day started at 7:30 am and after a two hour grueling meeting I’m slapped back into work mode. After a month in the states with all of the freedom at my fingertips and flexibility in schedule I accomplished several personal and professional achievements. Working for a Korean company in the states is like, wake up in the morning, answer emails, call customers then lunch rolls around from noon to 4 pm I loiter and catch up on Jersey Shore, then start work at 4pm [when Korea starts on their day] I start work again and usually have a conference call scheduled around 9 or 10pm. The cycle continues. One main achievement, I successfully gained almost 10 pounds. Working remotely from California reminded me of this comic strip. 

On the flight back to Korea we couldn’t get front row seats so we settled for second row seats. We later found out that the reasoning was because there were five damn babies on the flight. I can handle one or two babies, but not any more than that. I think they talked before the flight and decided on taking up a rotating screaming schedule.

The flight didn’t offer any new movies so I watched a few documentaries on how the world began, how life will look after human existence and how the grand canyon was formed. Then, I watched 30 minutes of some of the crappy movies that they offered like “Remember me” and “The Bounty Hunter” and then watched some Korean drama. It’s safe to say that I didn’t get a wink of sleep. Since this threw me off completely, I still sleep at 10 pm and wake up at 4 am. I’m not complaining though, it’s like I magically turned into a morning person and I’m much more cheery in the morning. I hope this lasts until the end of the week… or forever.

Now it’s time to resituate myself. More later! 

The most magical day - Shadowbrook and Enrique Iglesias

I'm at home thinking about how wonderful my dinner was. Rolled up in the blanket like a burrito and humming songs from Aladdin, I'm feeling jolly. 



The day really started to pick up after 4 pm, after all of our meetings had ended. Two colleagues and I decided to go out for dinner. Thinking that it would be a harmless quick dinner I agreed, but we ended up going over to Santa Cruz [it's like 30 minutes away up a scary, windy mountain] So we get to the beach and it's completely deserted. Nobody is around and the boardwalk is closed. FAIL. I looked up the Santa Cruz County Fair which started this week, but the first day is tomorrow. Not today. fail. I yelped a place with an ocean view but we didn't seem particularly excited about it.


We start driving around and the conversations start to wane. I stop talking because I start to feel sick from holding in so many farts throughout the day. A balloon of gas has formed into my stomach and all I can do is imagine sticking a tube in my stomach and releasing enough toxic gas to rip a hole through the o-zone layer. The entire time i am regretting the moment when I gobbled a bowl of garbanzo beans and black beans during lunch. 


As we are searching for highway 1, to get some nice views we hit some major traffic [it's around 5:30pm at this point] FAIL. So we turn into a random dead-end street with a nice view. We get out of the car and then this lady starts to talk to us. I love to play the "IT'S MY FIRST TIME IN AMERICA! " card, but didn't have to play that game because I was with two fobs. We talk and she invites us to go over to her beach house behind her for some drinks.WIN!


Timid, my coworkers don't follow me into her house and they wait around by the car. I go into her house and instead of getting a drink I ask her about a restaurant recommendation. She recommends this place called ShadowBrook. She gives me their business card, and her own personal business card and then we depart ways. My coworker states, "Usually old, rich, white people have good taste in restaurants, so we'll go to where she recommended." [Lesson of the day: Follow white, old, and rich people]


We get to the ShadowBrook  and it was the most magical restaurant I have been to in a longgg time. WIN WIN WIN!!!  First of all you have the option of either going down a trolley fit for 6 small people or a beautiful garden pathway to the restaurant. Obviously we took the trolley. It leads us down into a magical restaurant with different themed rooms. We sat in a room with a tree growing out of it. the view was pretty and we ate while the sun set. the menu was decently priced and everything we ordered was delicious, particularly the NY steak. So now i know where i am going to have my future wedding [don't steal my idea Jong]


After dinner we take the trolley back up. On the ledge next to the entrance is a gargoyle. I gleam into its eyes as my coworker excitedly announces, "Look! it's a full moon tonight!". Suddenly the gargoyle awakens and to my surprise Enrique Iglesias emerges. He takes out a whistle and summons his mode of transportation: a magic carpet. He hops on and then squeals like a punctured dolphin, "BABY I LIKE IT!" In shock my coworkers and I glue our eyes to his sticky appeal. His eyes are like molasses and I... cant... look... away. I am enchanted. His magic carpet inches closer to me and the tassels tickle my shoulder. He starts to talk to me in a seductive serenade, "Do you know? Maybe I'm addicted, let me take you away and be with you. Escape with me and let's bailamos into the sky." I look away but then he in a whispers, "Can you hear me? I'm not takin' back my love. I can be your hero baby..." a gust of wind blows his scent in my direction and I am infected. Who can resist a man who only speaks in song lyrics? 

I get on his magic carpet  and we ride off into the night. I wave to my confused coworkers. I crop-dust the town with the scent of garbanzo beans.

The trolley [their picture]

The trolley [my crappy blackberry picture]

The front view [theirs] 

The front view [mine]

Hey Ed, I know you read my blog from time to time. Just wanted you to know that nothing happened between me and Enrique, we're just friends. See you in a few days!

How to speak to your daughter about sex

My mom is hilarious. I've been spending a lot of time with her these past few days and since my dad is away for the weekend I even slept in her bed with her last night! Yesterday my oldest sister,  my mom and I went hiking and as we are walking along my mom started asking me questions about FBF [Fob BoyFriend] and then started to rant away and said...

Mom: Do you guys sleep together in the same room? Do you guys have sex?? During my generation nobody had sex before marriage. Nowadays everyone has sex with whoever they want. They just say [in a really high voice] "Oh hey, do you want to have sex? Oh you do? Okay great, take a shower first!" Get on birth control. Okay?! 

Wow, thanks for the sex talk.

Harry Potter Pictures & Boyfriend Pillows

Lately I've been into taking more videos rather than pictures. Being able to capture voices, phrases, mannerisms, intonations, series of facial expressions and uncensored actions is more fun to sort through than regular pictures. SO I started this new thing where I take "Harry Potter" pictures of friends. Before I start to miss my friends and make up wild fantasies of us doing day-time activities together,  I find comfort in knowing that even if we are a world apart, they are only a youtube away. Here's an Example:





Last night I watched "Going the Distance" the Justin Long and Drew Barrymore movie. In my opinion it was pretty horrible but the girl down the row must have loved it, or at least felt a true connection to it because she was sobbing balls during the melodramatic break-up scene. I laughed. 


I thought the movie could have been better but at the same time, I guess the movie covered all of the bases for the long-distance theme. I guess long distance relationships arent really that interesting to watch/hear about unless you're actually in one/were in one. Like me and my sister. Although FBF (Fob BoyFriend) and I have only been apart for a few weeks, it feels like forever but overall it hasn't been that bad. I mean, at least we both have all five of our senses and all of our major limbs and it's 2010... we have skype, email, smart phones. What else could we ask for? 


Plus I have this to keep me warm at night:

 

And yes, I really do own a boyfriend pillow. Best xmas gift even whether or not you really have a bf... bc come on, sometimes having the real thing isnt all that comfortable.

The End!

What NOT to do to get a guy

So these past two weeks have been interesting in the boy department. I’m a loyal gal, so nothing juicy or scandalous. But as I started to reflect on the encounters I had these past two weeks with old flames, flames that got away, flames that were prematurely extinguished, etc. I started to think about how I am hopelessly incapable of getting boyfriends. The only reason why I have one now is because I casted a spell on him and he is forever hypnotized.

So maybe people can learn from my mistakes... ongoing mistakes....

1. Don't be TOO HAIRY

I’m going to just put it out there. I don’t like to shave. That is why I got my hair laser-ed off of my body. There was once a period of my life where not only did I not shave, I REFUSED to shave. So one night I was out with a well-sized gang of girl friends just getting some drinks when a group of male acquaintances rolled through. We conjoin tables and start talking. Fresh from a break-up, I was not in the mood to attract men so I started showing off my leg hair in a not-so-subtle fashion, “LOOK! LOOK AT MY LEGS!! BEAR LEGS!!!” One guy turned to my sister and said, “THIS IS NOT OKAY.”

Years later those guys and I still run into each other and I’m haunted by the fact that they will never find me attractive.

More after the jump!

Memory Lane: High School Memories

Being home is kind of like taking a mini roadtrip into the past. As I was roaming around the house, a black and white hardcover book caught my eye… my senior year yearbook. Already feeling a bit disconnected from my college days, I started reminicing on what those days in high school were like. Judging from the comments scribbled on my yearbook I think it’s safe to say that not very many people actually knew me, I was a pretty strange cookie… and so were some of my friends.

One friend drew a picture of me having sex with britney spears...

Another friend drew a picture of me "feeling up" britney spears. Britney and I are actually best friends. She just doesnt know it yet.

A good friend of mine wrote the following in my yearbook:

“Hey you, I’m soooo glad you have a boyfriend now. I was getting kinda worried for the past years. Since you always claimed boys were nasty and had cooties, I always assumed that maybe you had different sexual preferences. Anywho, I’d accept you any way you are…”

Wow, really?! At least I had very accepting friends...
I dont even want to know what kind of shinshong I wrote in other yearbooks.

Is that how we used to talk to each other in high school?? Call each other "bitch" and "whore". Maybe im just too PC these days or something. also, scribbling your name does not help me remember you... i hope that doesnt make me a whore.

Voted in the yearbook as a "Couple we'd like to see." they are literally a couple we'd like to see.

Nowadays it seems like facebook is your everyday yearbook. Maybe by now high school yearbooks are obsolete. So now I’m sitting here wondering how many of my friends thought I was a lesbian, and how many people actually remember me.

You see that one asain kid in the middle? That’s me.

On my first day of middle school, my sister who was in the 8th grade showed me around school and introduced me to her friends. In hindsight, it was a golden opportunity, but at the time I was terrified. I cried. My sister didnt know what to do with me.

On my first day of high school my sister took me on a tour around the school a few days before my big first day. At the end of my first day I was still feeling lost and terrified. My sister who was a junior at the time introduced me to her friends and a group of girls a year older than me. For no real reason at all, I cried.

If only back then I realized that after middle school and high school, i'd spend the rest of my life as an adult, maybe i would have done things differently. So i guess nowadays i see it as, until marriage and poppin out babies, i'll just let the wind influence me.

My nephew at the wedding - Michael Jackson style dancing

I'm pretty sure based on his frequent crotch grabbing [not shown in the video] footwork and never-ending dancing is inspired by Michael Jackson. This boy stole the show and made everyone else look like amateurs. 





Heartbreaker in the making!

Totally worth it - My cousin's wedding.

It has definitely been a while! It felt unnatural to update outside of my usual cube, but I’m over it now. The past two weeks have been a whirlwind. To begin, my cousin’s wedding was everything I expected it to be. Awesomeee.

Dru's cute photo of my dad huggin my cuz

Is it weird of me to think that my dad is hot? he's 63!

I got into the states and back at home by 2 pm and by 4 pm we drove off to a small town outside of Tahoe – population 11,000 – (a 5 hr drive for us including traffic) we arrived at 9 so it was safe to say that we didn’t make it to the 5:30pm dinner party on Friday night. We did make it in time to head over to the one cool bar in the area. Typical dive bar except for the fact that they serve free hotdogs and popcorn at the bar and other special deals such as pizza + beer for $4.25. Now that’s the kind of bar I’m talking about!

Then the next morning we ate at this awesome deli that served the biggest salad in the world and the most stocked sandwiches ever. But enough about the food… the wedding was outdoors in a really cute place. The wedding ceremony was really short but very sweet. My family and I were sitting at the front so we got a good view of the ceremony- and good pictures [i'll make an album soon - with videos!]. My oldest cousin officiated the wedding and then we went on to the food, cake, drinking and dancing...

Two words sum up the rest of the wedding after the ceremony: OPEN BAR!

My older cousin had an open bar at her wedding two years ago and had soju for the Korean guests but the bartender didn’t know any better and gave out soju bottles like beer. I vividly remember my dad walking past my sisters and I hiding his soju bottle in his hand pointing to it and saying “look! The bartender doesn’t know what it is!!” and tip-toed away.

At this bar, along with all other drinks, and cocktail specials, they featured cucumber-infused soju shots! It was awesome especially when we rounded up groups of 10 and even groups of 20 people to drink soju with us. Toward the end of the night all of the soju was gone. Besides drinking soju [bc I actually hate soju with a passion] I drank my usual gin-tonics and we danced under a tree draped with lights until the wedding was over. It was so fantastic even though it sprinkled a little bit and even though at times I was freezing.

After the wedding we go to the local bar again and after playing a few rounds of pool & darts I had a lot of fun watching THAT DRUNK PERSON. You know, the drunk person at every wedding who makes the night even more entertaining. To conceal this person’s identity let’s call this person Bob. So Bob was hilariously drunk and despite putting him to bed in his hotel room multiple times, he always crept back to the local bar ready to drown a few more drinks. After a while he became verbally abusive, mean and a bit aggressive. He did things like hit on girls, place his hand on butts, eat lots of random food from vending machines, and even peed in a hallway on the carpet! It’s safe to say that Bob was very hung over the next morning.  

My sister's xanga [... i dont know why she still uses xanga even after I urger he not to] made a beautiful entry with a bunch of fancy pictures. click if you're curious!

"Two hotdogs maximum per person"  

More pictures after the jump!

Adventures of working in our hotel room.

It's been a bit intense working around the clock in our hotel room. Today we went to K-Town for lunch and the whole ordeal of going there, eating and coming back took us 3 hours. after we got back we took a 10 minute break and during that break I turned on the TV and started watching an episode of Man Vs. Wild. In this episode Bear is in Africa and on a quest to live like the Bushmen and find water.

Toward the end as he given the task of catching a porcupine, I was glued to the TV. I'd catch myself watching the TV with my eyes wide open and mouth slightly hanging wide. Every so often I'd glance down to my laptop sitting on my lap and pretend to work, and by work I mean change my privacy settings on Facebook. This went on for a full hour. My coworkers were at the kitchen table working on their laptops. Wishing that I'd turn of the tube and get back to the table and do actual work... which I am now doing, and by "work" I mean updating my blog.

This is where we are:

You cant really tell but that is the ocean right there. It's a shame that we are confined indoors while at such a cool location.

Surfer dude chic?  

My bedroom.  

At first my coworkers were not amused by the unprofessional feel of the place but i dont think that they mind anymore..

Vegan food for dinner tonight. YUM!