The City - DVF to Whitney Port

In a combination of –

I just cant afford it

Slow progress

Scheduling conflicts

I quit my hagwon

for now.  

Since I have some native friends and work with all natives, it wont be hard to find someone to teach me…

MTV Shows

I watched the city on tv the other night and this is probably the best scene in the whole first season of the series. At 1:10 is where the scene becomes relatable in all aspects other than just boys. 

A side note - theyre finally playing Jersey Shore in korea! it's called "Mad Party House" or something haha. 

Double Eyelid Surgery - just not for me

Yesterday I got off work early for a consultation at a plastic surgery office. My mom’s aunt is a surgeon who specializes in eyes and noses. We went to say our hellos (the office is in CheongDam, the Beverley hills of Korea and down the street from my office)

I told the doc that I wanted double eyelid surgery, the kind where you get 1-3 stitches on your eyelid, not the kind where you straight up slice up your eyelid. The doctor said that I don’t need it… instead he suggested a slight face lift which would help my “drooping” eyelids.  The face lift would cost $3,000. I’d rather go on vacation!

So it’s confirmed, I’m not going to get anything done. (Except for lasik). But WOW I cant believe I went to a consultation…. WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME?!?! 

I think I have a good streak of false doctor consultations. When I was really bored one summer during high school I was watching daytime TV by myself and a Zoloft commercial popped up… you know the one with the little circle glob thing floating around... the commercial listed symptoms for depression – trouble falling asleep, not feeling like yourself and etc and I suddenly decided that I MUST be depressed. I make and appt and see my local doctor and while pretty much smiling as I told my doc that I saw a Zoloft commercial and think I must be depressed because I fit the symptoms. She probably thought I was a dumbass and turned me away. After that appt I didn’t see my doc for 2 years bc I was so embarrassed.

This other time when I was really young I had a sharp stomach ache and told my mom that I wanted to see my doctor. She made an appointment and we head over to the hospital. Right when I looked at the hospital building, my stomach ache disolved… my mom went inside and told my doctor that her daughter is retarded and didn’t need to see her anymore.

So yesterday I got that feeling again… the stupid Zoloft consultation feeling. I’m such a typical consumer. 

JJ&F - Palo Alto - the best sandwich place ever

just thinking about this place is making me salivate. i used to come here for lunch or after school during high school. i used to eat this at least once a month... sometimes once a week. i'd fill up those sandwich stamp cards pretty fast. When people ask me what i miss... it's JJ&F sandwiches. 

“My Usual” from JJ&F

honey maple turkey

sour dough roll

everything on it

extra pepperochinis

swiss cheese

an Arizona ice tea

pirates booty

mmmmmmm

http://www.yelp.com/biz/jj-and-f-food-store-palo-alto

Ice cream flavor of the week

The Stats:

Name: guitar guy

Age: 31 (Korean age, 29 US age)

Day Job: engineer

Side job: plays the electric guitar in a band

Pros: taller than me, busy, daisy approved, educated/smart.

Cons: lives 1 hr+ from me (though this could actually be a pro), communication barrier, doesn’t look like a 14 yr old child/not a baby face

Since I’m usually the “experiment” for native guys, im going to treat this new victim as my blog experiment, and also hope that he never stumbles upon this blog haha.

I met this native guy in a club. SIGH. I know. I say it all the time.,. don’t meet boys at clubs (and always keep that 3 inch gap between you and the guy when boobie boobie-ing) despite repeatedly reminding myself to stop meeting boys at clubs, I still do. Humans are so annoying. We always repeat the same mistakes.

After a bit this guy and I start dancing and then we start talking. He asked me if I wanted to get some ice cream. And I asked him where we would get that (already jumping to the conclusion that he wanted to leave the club to “get ice cream”) and he told me they sell ice cream at the bar. I thought, holy moly! HELL YEAH I WANT ICE CRÈAM AT THE BAR!!

We walk to the bar and i hear him order one ice cream and i start getting really excited. He hands me a drink, and I'm thinking... oh, this must be a drink called "ice cream".  I ask him what it is and he responds, “it’s iced tea!” T.T ahhaha, wow im dumb. But forealies, wouldn’t ice cream be pretty cool at a club? I don’t think a guy has ever bought me a non alcoholic juice at a club. I shot him a confused look and told him he could drink the ice tea for himself and i ordered a gin and tonic. 

He told me it was that it was a shame we met in a club and not at the library… swoon. Then after he met Daisy he said "Daisy, like from The Great Gatsby" she and I gasped and Daisy turned to me and said in a positive yet serious tone, "HE READS!" 


Anyway the night progresses and we plan to hang out the next day despite the fact that he lives over an hr away from me.

Fast forward to Sunday and we meet up for dinner in my neighborhood. At first things seemed much more awk then it should have been… but things were normal after our meal. The topic of facebook comes up and he told me to add him, and so I looked up his fb and it says “in an open relationship” I shot him a glare, as I’m extra sensitive with this whole fob/player thing and I asked him if he had a gf, naturally he said no and said he didn’t know what an “open relationship” even entailed. he thought it meant that he's open to a relationship... I don’t believe him… though his profile said that he’s interested in both men and women… it is possible that fb just confuses him. haha

He suggested we go to lotte world together over the weekend/plans to see me at least once this week/work his schedule around mine etc

If this happened 2 years ago I would have thought the age gap was too huge

One year ago I would have ran away with the thought of going to lotte world with a dude

6 months ago I would have been excited

One month ago I would have not cared bc I was into laser boy

One week ago I might have punched him in the face

Today – I’m just stoic. I’ll go with the flow. Be cool, but not too cool.

Since I already assume that he’s a player, am burnt out and want to be asexual again, I’m not really investing much into guitar guy and expect nothing from him. 

bee tee dubs, he told me that i have a big nose and i was like "WAHHH" but apparently that's a good thing to him. and he asked if got my nose done. i guess this is how korean people indirectly compliment each other. 

A few tags and a weekend update

coworkers. we're all so pale

1.     It’s an exciting time in the k-corporate world… it’s the season of raises and promotions. I’d be surprised if I got a raise and for sure I’m not going to be promoted, but I hope for the best for my coworkers.

2.     News of the weekend. Something seems fishy.

3.     It seems like I have at least one traumatizing story per week. On Friday night I took a cab across town by myself during the wee hours of the night. I was going in and out of sleep as the taxi driver was talking to me about stuff I didn’t understand, and it’s probably better that I didn’t understand. When I got to my place I realized that I didn’t have enough cash to cover the fare so I asked if I could pay with half cash and half t-money – he said I don’t have to pay with my t-money and just pay half if I give him a kiss. I declined, paid it off, and walked away in my inebriated daze once again feeling, violated by some perv.  

4.     I’ve been watching a lot of America’s Funniest Home Videos on TV and wow… that show is still so funny, esp the clips of babies+animals. 


5. on friday, before my parents and i parted ways at the subway station i asked them if they had cash, and then gave them $10 "allowance" each and told them to buy something yummy to eat. and my mom said it was  "감격" (to be deeply moved) and started tearing up as she took the cash. and then i started tearing up because it always makes me sad to see my mom cry, even when its out of joy.  i guess i'm all grown up now. 

Korean text message slang - stop it

Pet peeve #38: Korean text jargon

버라이어트한날씨야비오구눈오구바람마니불고 아추워감기조심하구옷따시게입고댕

I had to read that 3x to understand what the hell he wrote. i guess in korea its cool to pretend that you cant spell correctly... or maybe he really cant spell. you see, this is what i mean when i say i cant figure natives out right away. its the little things. 

After I told him to stop texting me in slang:

쏘리쏘릿

And he responds in slang-glish. It’s like “sorry, Sorriezz”

Da EnGLiSh EqUiVaLeNt ReMiNdZ mE oF tExtInG LyKe DiS. SoOoOo UnSeXy.

out of frustration, i just text back in english.

Two things that drive me crazy in Korea

My sanity comes in waves. For the past 3 or so months I have been riding a good wave and really enjoying Korea. But inevitably, with every up comes a down and im starting to revert back to a lesser degree of longing for US soil.

Two things that drive me crazy in Korea:

1.     I’m “fat”

I write about this all the time, but it’s only because at least once every work day I am reminded of how I’m “fat” and after 15+ months of, im fed up with it. Two days ago Dennis pointed to a pig figurine on my desk and said “look it’s alice!” and I snapped at him in English (out of frustration). Yesterday he came by and asked me if I was mad, I said something along the lines of “no I’m not mad, I’m just fed up because you and others always say the same thing, when you talk about the same topics every day, it makes you look very simple, as if you don’t think about anything else.” I lack tact I get to the point. I don’t think he’ll come by my desk today. My tolerance is running thin.

2.     kBoys at clubs

Always keep in mind that the people you meet at bars/clubs are sleazebags and/or in sleazebag mode. unless you yourself are hunting, keep your phone number to yourself peas. Maybe speaking for myself, i go out to have a good time, boys go out to hunt. 

The other weekend I was playing at my fave spot, and this native came up to me and told me that he knew me. He threw me some fast facts about myself and mentioned that we had met a few months back. He asked if I wanted to go outside to chat, it seemed harmless and I know that I don’t look like the type of girl a guy particularly wants to mess with since I’m “fat”, tall and particularly strong for a girl, but ladies, never leave a club to talk to a boy. They never really just want to “talk” when theyre on hunting mode.  

Outside – after talking for about 15 minutes and having very normal conversation he begins to roll out a short series of inappropriate questions. Since lately I’ve been extra fed up with boys, esp asshole players who view me, a kyopo girl, more of an experiment rather than anything else, I stood up and as it seemed like he was going to grab my wrist, I punched him in the face. Quite hard. I think the punch was really for laser boy, but I think all boys should be punched once in a while.

I stomped back in the bar and laughed it off. But when I really think about it, Korean guys can be so sweet – sweeter than most American boys, or extremely creepy – way creepier than American boys. It’s mind blowing how frequently a guy will ask a girl to go to a hotel, take a trashed girl to a DVD room, or ask if you want to leave the club and go to a karaoke place “just for 30 minutes”.  

Thankfully I haven’t had any traumatizing experiences with boys at clubs but unfortunately I have been out with friends who have. If I ever find those mother fuckers I’ll cut off their dicks, sauté them in a sweet honey mustard and feed it to their mothers.

Hrm, considering that I am in a good mood this morning, this entry seems to be much more bitter than intended. One day I might write about the things I like about korea, but that’s not as fun for me. haha

HyunA - Change

i'm logged into AIM, gchat, nateon, skype and off and on facebook chat. i'm chatting with four different people on four different programs. it's pretty ridiculous.

i am contemplating switching to wordpress... blogger can be so annoying.




HyunA

This song is a few months old but still entertaining. sitting at my desk i heard this song pop up on my itunes and i started to think about hyuna's crotch. bc of her dance. i'm going to practice it when im home haha. keep in mind she was born in 1992. she just got boobs a few years ago and shes already shaking her goodies for all to see. on some stations her video has a 19+ rating, meaning that she's not even allowed to watch her own video on tv. ㅡ.ㅜ

Passion 5 - Itaewon

To counter my previous entry about weight loss, this entry will be all about how to gain happy pounds. the objective of this blog is not to be my foodie blog - though there are always exceptions. 

WOW last night i went to this wonderful cafe in Itaewon called Passion 5 (itaewon station, exit 3 - walk straight for 12 mins, or take hangangji station and go toward itaewon) and WOW it was good. this place had the most delicious pastries (and im not a pastry person) and a good variety of bread, delicious salads, melt-in-you-mouth strawberry cookies and the best creme brulee i've had since my paris days. omg to die for.  it's a bit pricey but it is def worth trying out at least once if youre in seoul. sorry if i already hyped this place up.


right when i started to lose faith in "western" food in korea...

you'll find these lips in front of Passion 5

They repeatedly asked me to stop taking pictures... but here is the main cafe area.

 The seating area. it's actually quite small, but they make it seem huge! 

my weakness....*click for a larger image!!*mushroom/pepper goodness on and a mini chicken calzone omg yammers. they heat up certain foods for you too. mmmm

 this was hands down my fave (im a sandwich whore) brie cheese, tomato and eggplant i still think about this sandwich. they heated the sammie up to the perfect temp and the tomato and the brie complemented each other like a match made in heaven. 

 green olive roll. mmmmmm. it was a bit chewy and hard (they didnt heat this one up) but the green olives were very good.

 my grapefruit juice. i'd recommend getting the grape ade, it looks much prettier. 

 
the menu. you can order actual food upstairs as well... however the kitchen was closed by the time we got to the place. def want to try the vegetarian lasagna next time i go!

 i was explaining to my friend why this cheese/sausage pastry was perfect... it just was. perfect texture and just the right amount of flakiness. 

 on to desserts... these strawberry meringue-esque cookies were strawberry flavored and melted on your tongue like magic. they were surprising delicious  i've always wanted to eat those gold flake things. they taste like nothing! but this dessert was perfection. the custard in the middle was delicious and korean strawberries always taste flawless. 

wow. hi there *blush* i LOVE creme brulee. the reason why i gained 20 lbs in paris was because i ate this almost EVERYDAY. why this creme brulee was perfect:1. they torched the top a LOT making the cracking extra fun and crunchy 2. the creme inside was thick and sweet, but not too sweet. 3. it was just the right size, not too big, not too small 4. it would have been extra perfect if they put pieces of fresh fruit inside. but nevertheless. it was yum. 

i will def be going back there again! 

Also shout out to U-G for introducing me to passion place and all of its wonderful magic.

For my poo-loving cousin, jenny

Since moving to korea last jan I have lost almost 20 lbs! my coworkers don’t believe me and think I look the same and still call me fat… but it’s okay because just as long as my jeans and I know that I lost weight, that’s all that really matters.

Whenever I’m REALLY happy I tend to gain weight – such as when I get a new boy, am high on life etc, so why the weight loss over the past year? Well it’s a combination of changing my diet from huge cheesecake factory portions to small Korean (mainly veggie) dishes. Also a mix of walking around more and not snacking. The big part is portion control.

When I studied abroad in paris, most of my classmates lost weight but I gained 20 lbs. I was just way too gosh darn high on life. once I got back to the states, it all melted away. The same happened when I studied in korea at yonsei, except that time the weight gain didn’t exactly melt away. The thing is, I didn’t really look like I had gained 20 lbs. the weight just evenly distributed around my body. I’m the type of person who can eat plain oatmeal for every meal and be content… though that is not recommended.

Once during finals week I was too busy to eat real food so I ate oatmeal for every meal for 3 days. during my final I started getting a diarrhea attack but had to hold it in (bc youre not allowed to leave during a final) so as I was sweating balls, shaking and clenching my butt as hard as I  possibly could, I finished the test, turned it in managing to withstand any anal leakage. I bolted for the bathroom and after an electrifying release (the kind where you have to hold on to the hand railing for support during the lighting bolt  thrusts) I walked over to the library which is a central point on ucla’s north campus, and lit up a cigg while the sun was beaming on my sleep deprived body and few puffs  later I started feeling light headed and turned to a bush and threw up. Mind you, this was during peak hours, so I had a bit of an audience.

ANYWAY that was way off topic.

The point is, don’t eat too much oatmeal. And the body doesn’t need so much food to survive.

Wow, what kind of message am I sending??!  stupid korea. Brainwashing me.  

Homesick

seeing my parents last week for 20 minutes on thrusday and then having a slumber party with them on friday night made me:

1. feel like a kid again (in a good way)
2. feel incredibly homesick... again. fuck. im relapsing.

Since i didnt go out or drink over the weekend i spent my time intensely cleaning my apt and reevaluating my life.  I came up with nothing new or good. but did find some good dust bunnies

At least i'll keep myself busy because esther (esta) 1 is coming to korea on weds!! (esther 2 is coming next week!!)

As a fan of planning in advance and making overambitious itineraries this is what esta 1 and i plan to do:
1. weds - esta arrives at night. chill at my apt, catch up etc

2. thurs - get off work as early as possible. eat dinner in shinsa, meet up with her kfriend, have a few drinks, NRB beyonce songs

3. fri - get off work as early as possible, mark's bday dinner, hang out/hit on albert's new college friends (theyre all born around 1991 LOL) binge drink

4. sat  - daytime activity, eat dinner somewhere fun, hongdae bar/club hop, hit up our fave club, binge drink

5. sun - esta departs :(

Esta has been to korea (for fun) a crazy amount of times over the past 2 years

1. june 2008
2. aug 2008
3. dec 2008
4. aug 2009
5. dec 2009
6. march 2010
7. aug 2010 (tentative)

korean lesson of the day

For the past few weeks i've been attending a korean hagwon (tutoring center) and although i want to continue and i really want to learn and improve, i just cant afford it! it's almost 90 bucks per week. most companies would pay for this shit but not mine.  


----------

I get these daily korean phrases sent to me via email. theyre actually quite annoying. here are a few sample phrases

해변에서 당나귀를 탈 수 있습니다.

You can ride a donkey on the beach.


i'm not sure when i'll EVER need to use this phrase

그는 60세가 넘었지만 아직도 젊다고 느낍니다.

Even though he is over sixty, he still feels young.

Is my mind in the gutter or does this not translate well








i think this site could be really useful if i spent more time on it
http://www.korean-flashcards.com

A snowy day in march

Taken last week

Morning

It’s 11 15 am and I just arrived to work… just in time to situate myself and prep myself for lunch. Last night coworkers and I went out to what seemed like a harmless dinner with a good mix of 13 high and low level employees. 30 bottles of makkuli and a 2^nd round whiskey bottle later, our Monday night turned sloppier than my weekend.

Actually that might be a lie.

it’s true makkuli does give you the fattest headache in the world. I thought I was going to die as daisy nursed me in bed while I had my head limped over in my barf bowl (I don’t know how many times people have barfed into that bowl… i’d never use that bowl for cooking)

last Friday I went out for drinks with two new and young coworkers. We bonded over drinks and even became “BFFs” with one of them… but I don’t remember any of our conversation. I was that trashed. My coworker is a bit butt hurt that I don’t remember that night, but its ok. We’re coworkers. We’re stuck with each other Monday – Friday. We’ll have much more opportunities to bond.  

Must get to work. 

Lesbos

TGIF – wow this week sucked

And where the beep is my phone??? It should be here by now.

I have never been asked if I were a lesbian by so many people. Don’t get me wrong, theres nothing wrong with gayness, I’m a liberal Californian and ive seen a fair enough of gayness and even lived with a cute lesbo.

Here in Korea I’ve been jokingly asked, and maybe even seriously asked if I a a lesbian. Maybe because I never had a bf in korea or maybe because I let girls stay at my place for periods of time, have stallion bonds with girls like esta… I don’t know.

Despite all of the gayish things that fobs do… by not having a bf, im a lesbo.  

Lost Phone - please come back to me!

Last night I went out for dinner with coworkers and had some alcohol to complement our dinner. The three of us had to return to the office after dinner to finish up, and seeing that we are all low level employees, we probably should not have drank during work, esp because my face turns into a tomato and my neck turns into a spotted cheetah.

While sitting at my desk trying to be coy, y2k (squeely) comes over and loudly says “DID YOU DRINK ALOCHOL?” and then another woman comes by and said the same thing. I attempted to convince them that I had just eaten something spicy… and after that failed I left for home.

As my buzz starts warming up and my mind starts swirling I grab a taxi and somewhere in the midst of my 4 minute taxi ride I feel my cell phone vibrate but decide to check it at home. I pay for the taxi with my t-money (a card you reload with money and pay for the metro/busses/taxi with) and got out of the cab. The taxi drove off and I instantly realize that my cell phone is still in the car. Shit.

I go online and ask a friend to call my phone for me and he told me that it was in use. My friend calls my cell again and the taxi man picks up and told him that someone had already called and was going to pick up the cell for me. Out of all people, who ends up calling my cell? Laser boy.

I wait around for laser boy for a few hours but he never showed up. THANK GOD I password protected my text messages.

My phone was already running on low battery when I lost it and now it is officially dead. I have no idea if Laser Boy actually has my phone so I have no idea if he has it or not. Through my superior stalking skills I tracked down the taxi drivers cell by routing my T-Money usage… but haven’t been able to get a hold of him. During lunch I’m going to my cell phone company and track down laser boy’s number and get to the bottom of this.

Losing a cell phone is way worse than losing a wallet. I’m sorry cell phone!! I’ll never talk crap about you again… even if you look like an ahjushi phone!  


----


on a totally separate note, here's a vid of Epik High's new song "Run" YAYY!!! im slowly getting back into kpop.

Why some guys dont like clubbing - IT'S JUST TOO CONFUSING!

My friends and i were debating on whether or not we should go to one of my fave clubs in hongdae... the guys opposed, the video explains why.




Isn't this the case at most clubs though??

DABs vs. PABs

Grumble grumble grumble. My weekend went by way too fast. Worked until 5 30 pm on Saturday. When I woke up on Saturday I felt fine, but the end of the work day all I wanted was to get trashed. I need a normal job, the kind of job where I get Saturdays and Sundays 

It is important in life to not be a PAB (Pussy Ass Bitch). Nobody likes those. Instead be a DAB (Down Ass Bitch). Let’s take Saturday for example, I ate dinner at Bennigans and after eating a super heavy meal I instantly felt sick. Then after one drink I was literally sick. Since we were expecting to have a long fun night, that was exactly what I intended to do. Daisy asked me if I wanted to go home, and though I honestly did want to go home at the time, I didn’t want to be a PAB. I Toughed it out and ended up having a fun night. That is how things should always be. Party poopers are no fun.  

Still hooked on 2AM’s song 

Can you hear me now?

Just another day with kim yu na 



Story 1
Yesteday I called my mom’s cell and got a message saying that the phone did not exist. next, I called my dads cell and accidentally dialed the wrong person. Then I called my house and dialed the wrong number again! In panic I called my sister’s cell phone (my us cell number was the exact same number as hers, minus the last number) and asked her for the correct numbers. I was pretty close with my mom’s and dad’s number and had the correct house number… but it was for a different house that we lived in 3 years ago.  

Wow. It’s been way too long. 


Story 2
Last night i went to a welcome dinner for a new guy in the office and we ate samgyupsal (pork bbq). turns out March 3rd was samgyupsal day. wow, really??


every 14th of a month there is a mini couple-centric holiday. i'm not sure what market hug day will benefit, but whatevs.


1/14 Candle Day
2/14 Valentine's Day (girls give boys chocolate)
3/4 Samgyupsal day
3/14 White Day (boys give girls candy)
4/14 Black Day (if you are single and didnt get any action on vday/white day you are supposed to eat jjajjang myun)
5/14 Rose Day
6/14 Kiss Day
7/14 Silver Day (couples exchange silver rings and make plans for the future)
8/14 Green Day (take a walk outside)
9/14 Music Day
10/14 Wine Day
11/11 Peppero day
11/14 Movie Day
12/14 Hug Day


Story 3
During dinner the marketing manager (lets call him MM from now on) chugs a bottle of soju and gets tossed practically by himself. he asked me if i had any questions for the new guy, and i paused for a few seconds and before i could say anything MM yells out "maybe something like DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?" i paused, and said, "no, that is not what i was going to ask." the best way to kill off any drunken awkwardness is to act really calm. so thats what i did. i did end up asking him about his skin secrets. he has such clear, beautiful skin! (only in korea would i ask a 30 yr old man for his skin care secrets)


though it was obvious that nobody wanted to do 2차 (second round) we were pretty much forced to to NRB (karaoke) after dinner. back in the day i made the mistake of showing MM a good time while singing (stomping around on the couches, singing linkin park on top of the table, etc) and he still expects it out of me to this day. my coworkers sang some cute k-songs and then i threw in some ABBA and bon jovi just to make MM happy. as we were singing he proceeded to shake a tambourine, started yelping in delight, while waving his arms in excitement like a monkey doing a mating call.


he's so easy to please. thank god i moved out of marketing.

eye see you

I think at least one really strange thing happens to me per week. It’s probably because I let them happen and am more open to weirdness. Keeps life interesting.

----

on another note

Convo with a 1.5 generation fob:

Guy: it looks like you got your eyeballs done

Me: …. What?...

Guy: it looks like you got surgery on your eyeballs

Me: my eyeballs? … so, is that a compliment?

Guy: yes.

There you have it. Who knew? Apparently I have pretty eyeballs for fob standards. and how do you get your eyeballs done?? i must be missing something here.

skin care!!!

When I was a kid, living in an all-white community, I used to pray for leg hair, so I could shave like the white girls, yearned for forehead wrinkles, so i could look extra perplexed when confused, and develop crows feet, so i could look happier when I smiled. Wow what was I thinking??

Now, I am obsessed with anti-wrinkle care, moisturizing, sunblock and eye crèmes. I’ve noticed that a lot of kyopos, even those in their young 20’s, have wrinkles. START TAKING CARE OF YOUR SKIN! AND STOP TANNING!!! I know tanning is a big pastime etc etc but at least cover your face when youre outside or wear lots of sunblock.  

Most koreans look younger than they actually are. How? Simply put,  they are malnourished (particularly the girls). But also because they take care of their skin. By this I don’t mean moisturizing just in the morning and before bed, I mean they use different moisturizing crèmes, masques, get facials, avoid the sun at all costs, and wear layers of make-up to cover up flaws. Now that I’ve been in korea for over a year now, one thing that I have put more effort into is skin care. AND YOU SHOULD TOO! Even the guys.

Glad I got that off my chest.

Resilient chronicles – Asexual edition

Based on a previous entry I had written, I am now a lesbian… more asexual. Laser boy lasted 8 days. 8!! I’m cursed. Nothing lasts over 10 days. Through all of his bullshit fobby sweet talking, superficial appeal and the several red flags, I knew there was something fishy but for some strange reason I liked him more than I should have. On Sunday night at 11 pm I received this text from him. (translated from Korean)

“Sorry, I don’t know what to say. Yesterday I went out with my hyungs (older bros) to a night (booking club) last night. I really like playing and women too much. Sorry.”  

Wow. Bastard.

To be real, I’m resilient. No hard feelings. 

Unfortunately, I'm not made of stone, i'll admit I was butt hurt for 30 minutes. Since Monday was a national holiday, Daisy and I doll ourselves up and hit up a club down the street. As Daisy and I were walking to the club, a man approaches me and tells me that I fit his type. This only confirms that I mainly attract old men. Already feeling very grossed out by men, I was quick to reject and galloped along. God has a funny sense of humor. Cant he give me a break and sugar coat shit for me every once in a while??

We got to the club…. Only to meet and forget new duds. Maybe next time I’ll go to a club dressed up like a boy and hit on girls. Kyopo guys have such an easier time here in korea.

Monday night I went out for dinner with my uncle. We’re pretty close so we can talk about almost everything. I told him about how I cant differentiate the good boys from the bad boys here in korea. He told me that I need to stop meeting boys when intoxicated (that’s a given) and to judge them based on their university they attended and what job they have, not date good looking guys or guys who go out to clubs. How would I go about finding these types of guys? Sogaetings (blind dates/meetings). I’d rather be alone than worry about this bullshit. I’m patient it’ll happen one day. And if not, I’ll go about like every normal spinster and compensate with cats.

Korea is brainwashing me into thinking that there is something wrong with me for being single for…. Years. Is that what us ladies have to deal with? If my uncle is right, then In that case, I hope my future son is the ugliest motherfucker with the smartest brain ever. That should translate into a hot wife.  

Not to blab on about my hopeless love-life. In college my mom used to call me every Sunday to catch up and the first question out of her mouth was always “do you have a boyfriend?” at this point I think shes concerned that all three of her daughters are single and possibly lesbos.

She once said to me, in the most sincere Korean-mom fashion, “Jihae, youre educated, you had a functional upbringing, youre tall and theres nothing physically wrong with you… so I guess its your personality!”  

Maybe shes right.